Finding Peace in Weakness

The sunlight either said hello sooner than I expected or I lost track of time since getting up so early which allowed a few things to be accomplished before all the kids got out the door for school.

Not that my two olders need me anymore–and I wasn’t sure how long it’d be before I could say such words, but now I can praise the Lord; they’ve been getting up earlier than even their mama prefers, fixing their hygiene, lunches and the like.

This more-than-a-mere-morning, my Bible sat waiting for me, as did other to-do’s not too far off, though I made them sit still for while longer before gathering all my items and heading to the deck to enjoy the autumn weather before the heat of the day–because it’s those in betweens where the sun will cook you while the cool evenings will keep your cardigan’s hook, your best friend.

I have pitter-patted into this post, possibly from being so away, as I’ve found writing when prompted to be more my style than a daily task regardless–which could change, but tis the season.

Weakness.

I wanted to talk about it because, well, it’s been at my bedpost lately. I’ve been pondering on what feels like I swallowed a dose of helplessness and how when we feel this way, God still hasn’t changed. Mind-blowing, isn’t it?

I’ve been mostly healthy all my life–I just turned 37–and out of nowhere I began having gallbladder attacks, I guess they call them, from being inflamed, or “horribly mad at you,” in the doctor’s words.

So, needless to say, I have been watching what I eat instead of being able to fly by the seat of my pants. If that method got me here–don’t follow in those footsteps, oops.

Not that I over-ate or went crazy. Honestly, portion control and plain common sense have pretty much been how I live, but either way, two trips to ER in a week happened and would have more had I not gritted and bared the agonizing pain while praising and trying to think happy thoughts amidst it all.

Through this process of learning what I can eat, might be able to eat, and definitely CAN NOT EAT right now, it’s been fun to get back in the kitchen after another but unexpected move ) our cute townhome had mold we discovered).

Though this photo looks yummy, my gut wound up saying no to beef roast. Below, I used leftover homemade chicken noodle as an excuse to make “sort of Zuppa Tuscana” soup. It had chicken rather than sausage (which I cannot eat) and I added in cooked potatoes after the fact, so the only thing I found off enough to write about was the noodles.

This meant it had more a chicken gnocchi texture instead, but it was still good. Since eating this I have been cutting back on milk-based products too. The pain from the gallbladder attacks were coming every other night, so I was desperate to cut out whatever might be a trigger.

I hope it doesn’t seem I am all over the place today. I haven’t been very good lately at writing authentically raw, and I think that’s because for the first time I am writing not from pained places but I have been able to wait upon the Lord in some things as He works in me during trials, and write after, or not at all (yet?)

This is not to say those who write in their pain are less strong. I actually long to write this way again, but for whatever reason the Lord has made this past year different for me. Maybe it was a place in my life I needed to grow in. Maybe I leaned heavily into the writing process itself, instead of prayer first, though I will say I feel I have not let prayer go ever, entirely. Even on pained days, even on good days, I “feel” prayer has always been a love, and natural to me. I wish it were this way for everyone.

Weakness. About that.

Though I mean physically, weakness comes in all shapes and sizes. When I am laying on the bed in hours of what seems like unending pain, I cry to Jesus. I rock back and forth to Jesus. I squeeze my husband’s hand–to Jesus be the glory that I have a hand to hold; not everyone does.

Things I might have ever taken for granted; I hope I no longer do. Even when it came to two different types of medication–one at the ER and one at home–my mercy and understanding for how it can be that a person might get hooked on a painkiller, has grown.

Because of this, I am severely watching my diet so I can hopefully avoid the gut twinge that cues me in on, “This is going to be a long night.”

I greatly appreciated The Transformed Wife’s post for other proven methods of helping maintain health, other than pain medication. She suffered through years of gut issues, so her recommendations are substantial.

Regardless of anything, I know my life is in God’s hands, but I also know taking care of the temple He’s given is my responsibility to an extent.

“My flesh and my heart fail;

But God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.”

PSALM 73:26 nkjv

It doesn’t matter how weak I feel in my bones. My spirit man is strong, but I can and will give honor to my Father for this too–because without His help, even this would not be so. I have had days when my spirit man felt nothing but a gasp.

If this is you too, take heart. He is never changing, despite our changing days.

The recipe above was recommended by a friend.

Since I just made this today, I can’t say my body’s reaction yet but I assuming it will be a good one since there was zero grease involved.

I will probably be adding more meals to the blog over time.

If you have a gut-friendly, gallbladder-friendly recommendation comment below (you have to create an account & log in)…

…or email hello@peaceandcoffee.blog and I may put together a curated list and link back to you.

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Thank you!

Looking for more than a blog post? I am not as active on social media anymore but….

Check out where I go to church. Watch streamed sermons on Facebook, or past recordings on The Assignment Church’s YouTube channel.

As always, message us if you have questions.

Published by Meg Weyerbacher

A servant of Christ, wife, mom and writer living to glorify the One who saved me from deep darkness.

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